Monthly Archives: Sep 2009

Relationships Matter – Introspection

Self-introspection is something we should all do regularly. Unfortunately only the emotionally, intellectually and morally courageous amongst us actually do. Most of us are intellectual, emotional and moral cowards. Having said that all of us are capable of developing intellectual, emotional and moral courage; it just takes a desire to do so and a willingness to bear the discomfort of bad feelings in order to acknowledge and accept them as opposed to ignoring and suppressing them. Continue reading

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Relationships Matter – Communication

The silent treatment is not an effective form of communication; it is an abusive form of communication much like anger or disgust. It is far more damaging than anger or disgust in that by employing the silent treatment we are ignoring another human being’s basic need to be acknowledged. Ignoring someone is one of the most nasty, insidious forms of bullying wherever it occurs whether it is at school, at work or in a relationship. Continue reading

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Relationships Matter – Emotions

Batteries, magnets, transformers etc work because they have both positive and negative. In order for us to work well we should welcome, embrace and understand all of our emotions both positive and negative. Very briefly this means acknowledging the lasting nature of positive emotions due to their solid foundation and understanding that negative emotions will pass due to having no real foundation. Our emotions are after all a part us and to deny any of them would be to deny ourselves. Continue reading

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Relationships Matter – Love and In Love

“What is the difference between ‘love’ and ‘in love’?” is a frequently asked question. My current answer is that being ‘in love’ is all about intensity; the highs are dizzying, the lows debilitating. Being ‘in love’ may be non-sexual or sexual. ‘Love’ is much more stable and comfortable; it generates a secure, constant, warm, fuzzy feeling. It is possible to ‘love’ without being ‘in love’ and vice versa. Continue reading

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Relationships Matter – Losing the Relationship, The People Or Both

An interesting aspect of relationship loss is that a relationship may be lost and people retained, people may be lost and a relationship retained or both the people and relationship lost; this isn’t as confusing as it first sounds. Continue reading

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